Memorial Day

Memorial Day, today, is a good day to sit back, watch old war movies, and pretend to know something about what it's like to engage in mortal combat in the service of one's nation (under God, indivisible, etc...).  Most of the really good war movies feature ensemble casts of colorful stereotypes who travel from one engagement to another, their numbers slowly dwindling down to a handful of marquee names.

When I watch movies like these, I think about the Atlanta Hawks, our local NBA franchise.  The Hawks are a kind of rag-tag, workmanly team made up of memorable characters from different parts of the nation/globe.  If you think about it, the Hawks are kind of like the cast of a good WWII movie...

There's AL HORFORD:

He'd be the soldier that you never actually see because he gets killed before the movie even starts.  The other soldiers would mention him fondly, saying things like, "Man, that Sgt. Horford sure was a great guy.  We really could've used his help in the first round against the Indiana Pacers."

JEFF TEAGUE:

Teague'd get top billing as the reluctant soldier, a former pacifist who decides that taking up arms is justified, given the gravity of the conflict (kind of like Gary Cooper in the film Sergeant York).  He'd be in charge of the unit, but the other soldiers wouldn't respect him until after they see him carry a wounded Sgt. Milsap to safety amidst a hail of enemy fire.

DEMARRE CARROLL:

Carroll is the underrated actor in the film who's versatile performance as the wild and crazy "Dutch Holloway" would steal the whole movie.  He'd be the wisecracking radio operator who keeps the movie from getting too dark.  When Carroll's character gets killed, even the men in the audience start to cry.

Then there's KYLE KORVER:

His character's nickname would be Joker or Goose or something.  He'd be the sharp-shooting sniper from Brooklyn who speaks in a thickly-generic New York accent.  When the band of brothers finally reaches Paris, Korver is the one who gets all the French girls.  He'd be played by Ashton Kutcher, so you'd want him to die but he'd survive the entire movie.

And PAUL MILSAP:

Paul is a large black man.  In war movies, the large black man is usually some kind of demolitions expert, so Milsap would be the soldier with all the high explosives.  There'd be a scene in the movie where a Nazi looks at him and says something insanely racist, so Milsap blows up the Nazi with a grenade.  There'd also be a scene in the movie where a newly liberated Parisian looks at him and says something insanely ignorant, so Milsap blows up him/her with a grenade, too.  Milsap would be doing a lot of grenading in the movie.

And, of course, there's everyone's favorite Hawk, TOM HANKS:

Hanks, a 12 year veteran from Sacramento State, averaged 5.2 ppg and 2.7 rpg for the Hawks over the course of the 2013-2014 NBA season.  I know it's hard to imagine the doughy, nice-guy Hanks in a war movie, but the movie wouldn't be complete without him.  He'd be played by either Paul Giamatti or John Stamos.

...you know that feeling you get when a war movie is over and the credits are rolling, that feeling where you actually miss the characters in the movie..?  That's how I felt when the season ended for the Atlanta Hawks.

Anyway, Happy Memorial Day, folks!  If you know a veteran, hug a veteran.  And if you don't know a veteran, don't hug one.  Grabbing a stranger and squeezing his/her body up against yours is just awkward; you should only do that with people you know really well.

Cheers.