That's right, folks! 75 episodes!!! Man, we've come so far, and in such a short amount of time! So many hair-raising tales and toe-curling pot boilers!!! If we were to bandy all of these chestnuts together, we'd have the makings of a blockbuster memoir! We could call it Nate Creekmore: Child of Destiny! Or maybe Nate Creekmore: Destiny's Child... Ooh, I like that. I need to contact my (re: find an) agent...
But, in the meantime, let's us dig into CMATL episode #75, shall we?
I'm not from Atlanta, but I live here, and (because I live here) people who don't live here ask me, "Creek, what's Atlanta really like?" I don't know what Atlanta is really like, but if you'd like to know what it's like for me, I invite you to sit back and enjoy another episode of "CREEKING MORE IN THE ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"!!!
[Atlanta Stories]
In the city of Atlanta, if you keep your eyes open, you're bound to see some unusual things, like I did that one time when I was at Little 5 Points and I looked up and saw an 18th century foppish dandy walking about as if no one would notice that he'd just stepped out of a time machine.
And then there was that time I was driving up Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway towards downtown and a guy on a motorcycle doing a wheelie and wearing a homemade Joker mask drove past, headed in the opposite direction.
And there was this other time when I was sitting in the parking lot behind the Plaza Theater on Ponce De Leon Ave eating my lunch. A man walked back, confident in a suit and tie...
And he headed directly for the dumpsters. What happened next was as inexplicable as it was unexpected.
He just jumped right in. No hesitation, no looking around, no taking off his dress shoes or loosening his tie, just up and in, face first. I have no idea what he was doing and I did not ask. He was still rooting around in there when I left.
Then there was this other time when I had my eyes open and wished I hadn't. I was driving on Edgewood, approaching the 5 Points MARTA station on my left. A lady decided to walk out into the middle of the street so I stopped to let her continue crossing. She got about halfway through and then she turned to me with a crazy look on her face. Then she showed me something I certainly didn't ask to see...
She just stood there, in the street, with her shirt lifted up to her chin. People on the nearby sidewalk were laughing at her, as if what she was doing was funny.
And she didn't move out of my way until she was distracted by an oncoming vehicle that nearly hit her, at which point I took the opportunity to swerve around her and go on about my business, shaken, but absolutely not stirred.
But Atlanta's sights are not always incomprehensibly bizarre or pathologically disturbing. Sometimes the city will open up and show you something hilarious. One of the funniest things I ever saw was a moment of pure slapstick and it just so happened that I witnessed it whilst in the company of a close friend of mine who has a special fondness for real-life slapstick.
This was over on Ponce, north of the AIDS clinic and the Krispy Kreme but south of the Ponce City Market (which hadn't been invented yet). A man rode by on a segway...
And then the thing just died under him.
He didn't just fall off, he tumbled.
His helmet went one way, the segway went another, and his body ended up straddling the curb. I don't know why the gods chose to bless the two of us with such an amusing spectacle...
...but we were glad of it.
But, I have to bring things back down. Because now I have to mention the most disappointing thing I've ever seen in the city of Atlanta; that lousy trolley they stapled together and stuffed onto the streets of downtown. When one thinks of a trolley, a trolley, one thinks of a whimsical, charming mode of transportation.
It's fun and enjoyable, the kind of thing that should brighten your day on sight. Not so with the Atlanta trolley. Ours is a lifeless, soulless rectangle that lumbers from stop to stop, completely free of any whimsy and charm.
Golden opportunity squandered.
So anyway, if you're in Atlanta, don't forget to occasionally look up from your texting. You never know what you might see.
(...probably you'll just see other people texting, but you never know...)
There you have it foks, another exciting episode of "Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"! Be sure and come back for the next installment wherein I prove that jogging with a shirt on is just as easy as jogging without one.
And then there was that time I was driving up Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway towards downtown and a guy on a motorcycle doing a wheelie and wearing a homemade Joker mask drove past, headed in the opposite direction.
And there was this other time when I was sitting in the parking lot behind the Plaza Theater on Ponce De Leon Ave eating my lunch. A man walked back, confident in a suit and tie...
And he headed directly for the dumpsters. What happened next was as inexplicable as it was unexpected.
He just jumped right in. No hesitation, no looking around, no taking off his dress shoes or loosening his tie, just up and in, face first. I have no idea what he was doing and I did not ask. He was still rooting around in there when I left.
Then there was this other time when I had my eyes open and wished I hadn't. I was driving on Edgewood, approaching the 5 Points MARTA station on my left. A lady decided to walk out into the middle of the street so I stopped to let her continue crossing. She got about halfway through and then she turned to me with a crazy look on her face. Then she showed me something I certainly didn't ask to see...
She just stood there, in the street, with her shirt lifted up to her chin. People on the nearby sidewalk were laughing at her, as if what she was doing was funny.
And she didn't move out of my way until she was distracted by an oncoming vehicle that nearly hit her, at which point I took the opportunity to swerve around her and go on about my business, shaken, but absolutely not stirred.
But Atlanta's sights are not always incomprehensibly bizarre or pathologically disturbing. Sometimes the city will open up and show you something hilarious. One of the funniest things I ever saw was a moment of pure slapstick and it just so happened that I witnessed it whilst in the company of a close friend of mine who has a special fondness for real-life slapstick.
This was over on Ponce, north of the AIDS clinic and the Krispy Kreme but south of the Ponce City Market (which hadn't been invented yet). A man rode by on a segway...
And then the thing just died under him.
He didn't just fall off, he tumbled.
His helmet went one way, the segway went another, and his body ended up straddling the curb. I don't know why the gods chose to bless the two of us with such an amusing spectacle...
...but we were glad of it.
But, I have to bring things back down. Because now I have to mention the most disappointing thing I've ever seen in the city of Atlanta; that lousy trolley they stapled together and stuffed onto the streets of downtown. When one thinks of a trolley, a trolley, one thinks of a whimsical, charming mode of transportation.
It's fun and enjoyable, the kind of thing that should brighten your day on sight. Not so with the Atlanta trolley. Ours is a lifeless, soulless rectangle that lumbers from stop to stop, completely free of any whimsy and charm.
Golden opportunity squandered.
So anyway, if you're in Atlanta, don't forget to occasionally look up from your texting. You never know what you might see.
(...probably you'll just see other people texting, but you never know...)
There you have it foks, another exciting episode of "Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"! Be sure and come back for the next installment wherein I prove that jogging with a shirt on is just as easy as jogging without one.
This made my Monday. There are indeed so many interesting folks to see around here.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping in,Anna!
DeleteNot seriously injured...probably! Love these episodes so much! Your art is amazing too!
ReplyDeleteGlad you like them! CMATL episodes are fun to put together.
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