Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore) Episode #98

I'm not from Atlanta, but I live here, and (because I live here) people who don't live here ask me, "Creek, what's Atlanta really like?"  I don't know what Atlanta is really like, but if you'd like to know what it's like for me, I invite you to sit back and enjoy another episode of "CREEKING MORE IN THE ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"!!!

[dress appropriately]

In the city of Atlanta, currently, it's wintertime.

When it gets cold in Atlanta, most people bundle themselves up under layers of jackets and coats and scarves and hats and gloves and boots until every bit of them is concealed from the cold and from view; which makes it a perfect time to play I Bet I Can Guess This Person's Ethnicity.

It's a very simple game.  Anytime you're walking behind a bundled, concealed person, you use any available clues (filtered, of course, through your various assumptions and stereotypes) to guess which bubble the person fills in on the census.

After you've locked in your guess, you walk up next to the person to see his/her face and...

Nope.   You guessed Qarapapaq and it was actually a giraffe.  You were way off.  And now you're forced to sit there and take a hard look at your own narrow view of the world.

But not everyone in Atlanta bundles up when it gets cold.  There will always be this guy...

And if you go downtown at the end of the year to watch the annual New Year's Eve Peach Drop (a local tradition wherein the mayor of Atlanta stands on top of the Equitable building and drops a single overripe peach at the stroke of midnight), you'll see plenty of short skirts and cocktail dresses, in spite of the biting cold.

...but dressing inappropriately for the temperatures is not always motivated primarily by a desire to appear sexy.  Sometimes people want to make sure that you know that they know that you know they're way ahead of the fashion curve.  And if that means they have to dress for the upcoming season instead of the current season, so be it.

But it doesn't stop with fashion, this attitude extends into all things.  Cars, phones... especially phones...

Look, they don't do this because they're rude or snobby or elitist, they do it as a cry for help.  They want us all to know that they are ahead of the times, that they feel out of place, out of time, uncomfortable.  And I have a solution...

Sometimes during the winter months, one of these will fall gently, gracefully, from the heavens:

A snowflake.

And as soon as that little flake hits the ground, this happens:

And when this happens, things quickly devolve into chaos.  Folks stuck at work, people fishing around under the seat cushions of their cars for something to eat, children trapped on school buses... I don't even want to imagine what kind of Lord of The Flies scenarios play out on those gridlocked school buses...

This kind of thing leads to seasonal depression, and the easiest way to overcome seasonal depression in the city of Atlanta is to grab a friend, head down to the local pub, buy a plate of grease, and have them change the channel to the Hawks game so that you can watch our mighty Atlanta Hawks claw and kaw their way to their FIRST EVER NBA CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!  That's right folks, it's our year!!!  2015, baby!!!  Kaaw!!  Kaaw!!!

...or you can skip the pub altogether if you have friends who have cable, which I don't, apparently.  Thanks a lot, guys.

There you have it foks, another exciting episode of "Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"!  Be sure and come back for the next installment when we'll discuss the yearly springtime pollen plague.  My eyes are watering just thinking about it...