[this episode may be more than you can handle]
In the city of Atlanta, there is a shortage of wooden sticks that can be used to hold up signs, and so the citizens of Atlanta often hire themselves out to be used as wooden sticks.
Sign handlers are everywhere. They stand in front of shops and stores and spin arrow-shaped signs that say things like "We Buy Gold" and "We Do Taxes" and "Little Caesar's Pizza is Still in Business Somehow". I've done no research beyond constant casual observation, but I assume businesses pay the men (and make no mistake, sign handling is very much a man's game. Female sign handlers are a rarity) to spin the signs and point at passing cars and pedestrians.
Some sign handlers are less than enthused and they merely hold the sign or lean it up against their bodies as they talk and text on their complicated personal communication devices.
But some of them REALLY get into it. The first sign handler I can recall seeing worked the corner of Briarcliff and North Druid Hills Rd. He'd flip the sign in the air, catch it behind his back, spin it on his finger, do the splits... he was basically a cheerleader.
I'm not even sure who he was sign handling for... Boston Market, maybe? If a sign handler is really good, you won't be able to read what business he's handling for or on which side of the street that business is located.
Another noteworthy handler used to hang out at Monroe and Piedmont in front of a Smoothie place. He, like Usher, did his best to imitate Michael Jackson's dance moves but mostly he just dropped the sign and tried to pretend he'd done it on purpose.
He was the most earnest sign handler I'd ever seen. If he was a basketball player, he'd have been known as a "hard worker" (the kind of player whose contribution to a given basketball game somehow never shows up on the stat page).
Cici's Pizza hired out a unique sign handler to work the corner of Peachtree Industrial Blvd and Holcombe Bridge Road. He dances exclusively with his head and neck, occasionally throwing out a dismissive free hand/arm in a move that reminds me of hip hop videos from the 90's.
He's going to give himself whiplash, which is sad because I don't think sign handlers receive any health benefits.
The happiest sign handler in the sign handling game worked South Atlanta, in the Camp Creek area. In fact, he didn't even need an actual sign. He danced beside the road wearing a giant yellow shirt and a huge, open-mouthed smile. He was either a great actor or he genuinely believed in the mission of the We Buy Gold franchise.
But the saddest handler, by contrast, worked (briefly) just north of the city for a Little Caesar's Pizza joint on Holcombe Bridge Road near Jimmy Carter Blvd. I only saw him once, but it nearly made me cry. His sign handling duties required him to wear a costume. It was probably supposed to look like the Little Caesar's Pizza Caesar mascot, but the flesh color of the felt and the poor craftsmanship of the costume just made him look... obscene.
That particular Little Caesar's still employs sign handlers, but it doesn't make them wear the costume anymore. I'm assuming an outraged parent called the city and complained about public indecency.
The city is much better off without that thing hanging around.
There you have it folks, another exciting episode of "CREEKING MORE IN THE ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"! Be sure and come back for the next installment, and don't forget that sign handlers are the real heroes.
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