I'm not from Atlanta, but I live here, and (because I live here) people who don't live here ask me, "Creek, what's Atlanta really like?" I don't know what Atlanta is really like, but if you'd like to know what it's like for me, I invite you to sit back and enjoy another episode of "CREEKING MORE IN THE ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"!!!
[expect delays]
In the city of Atlanta, there is no people or group or culture more mysterious or enigmatic than the men (and occasional women) responsible for road construction, repair, and maintenance.
I've seen them with my own eyes, and the things they do are magical, whimsical, and (often) entirely inexplicable. I once saw a solitary road worker hammering away on a stop sign for no reason at all...
I stood there and watched him for several minutes. At no point was it ever clear to me exactly what he was trying to accomplish. He was just there, on the sign, in costume, making noise with a hammer.
Another time, I watched a group of road workers cut down a small tree at precisely the right moment to have it land on the hood of a passing car.
The driver of the car was more than mildly displeased.
The most astounding thing I've ever seen them do happened as a line of vehicles waited at an intersection...
Suddenly, a construction vehicle arrived out of nowhere, hauling one of those metal plates they use to cover up ditches and potholes.
...only there was no ditch or pothole anywhere at the intersection. A fact that did not deter the construction vehicle from dropping the plate directly in front of all of them...
...and then slowly ambling away.
It was unreal; something from a dream. Where there had once been an unblemished bit of road there was now a clumsy, tire damaging piece of semi-flat iron. It was baffling, completely.
My fascination with road workers grows with each new bewildering incident.
...every time I see one of these signs...
...and then it's actually the left lane that ends...
...or when I see a bunch of workers dig out a hole in the middle of the road...
...and fill it back in...
...only to dig the exact same hole days later...
...or when you pass mile after mile of orange cones...
...and see no sign of construction or workers or equipment anywhere.
And it's not just road construction workers; there are others, employed in the related(?) field of building construction, who are equally mystifying. You'll see them standing around a hole in the ground for days, sometimes weeks. There's equipment and construction material, but none of the workers appear to be doing any actual work.
(...if you look closely, you'll notice that many of them are drinking energy drinks, in spite of the fact that what they are doing doesn't appear to require any energy at all...)
...and then, suddenly, one day, a new building appears in the place where there was once just a large hole...
Most of these men are catatonically mellow, but the Angry Whistling Traffic Cop (who is doubtless a member of the same union), is constantly on the verge of an apoplectic meltdown.
The Angry Whistling Traffic Cop doesn't care that people may not be used to seeing a person standing in the street, gesticulating frantically. He expects everyone to immediately understand his crazed directions and agitated movements.
Who are these people, these workers of roads, these builders of buildings, these directors of traffic? Where do they come from? Are they the same as you and me? Or are they, somehow, different..?
...and, most importantly, are they here to help us, or are they here to make our barely tolerable commutes somehow less tolerable..?
There you have it foks, another exciting episode of "Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"! Be sure and come back for the next installment. You don't believe the one about that tree, do you? It REALLY happened. Ask Martin Puckett. He was there, too.
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