Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore) Episode #71

I'm not from Atlanta, but I live here, and (because I live here) people who don't live here ask me, "Creek, what's Atlanta really like?"  I don't know what Atlanta is really like, but if you'd like to know what it's like for me, I invite you to sit back and enjoy another episode of "CREEKING MORE IN THE ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)!!!

[I propose revolution]

In the city of Atlanta, there is an NBA team known as the Atlanta Hawks.

They're actually pretty good.  Jeff Teague (an underrated point guard) and Al Horford (a power forward who always ends up playing center) are the backbone of the team.

The newly acquired Paul Milsap is a workman (loosely) in the mold of Tim Duncan, and Kyle Korver is the resident 3-point specialist.

There's also Gustavo Ayon, John Jenkins, Shelvin Mack, Mike Scott (played by Steve Carell), Lou Williams, Elton Brand, Demarre Carroll, Jared Cunningham, a German point guard named Schroeder, a 31 year old Macedonian rookie, and the coach, Budenholzer, is a disciple of Greg Popovich (head coach of the San Antonio Spurs).

...but the Hawks have no superstars, so the Hawks have no fans.  And when you go to a Hawks home game at Philips Arena, it feels like being at an away game.

Sometimes players from other teams come to Atlanta, play against the Hawks, and then stick around the city to throw parties for themselves.

If the Hawks acquired a superstar player, the no-fans problem would be solved.  But there are only about 5 superstars in the NBA (Kobe, Lebron, Durant, Chris Paul, and Glen "Big Baby" Davis) and none of them want to play for Atlanta.

But fear not, would-be Hawks fans!  I have a 3 Step Plan to set things aright.

Step 1:

 Get rid of Philips Arena.

 Use it for badminton tournaments or something.  We don't need it.  From now on, the Hawks play on an outdoor court; asphalt and chain nets.

It'll be our court.  Our guys will know where the cracks and kinks are and they'll know how to avoid them.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Creek, basketball is played during the winter months.  Our guys will freeze to death out there."  I'm way ahead of you.

Step 2:

New Uniforms. 

The Hawks will play in sweats and hoodies (with optional fingerless gloves).

And if it snows, great!  It'll be like one of those classic football games where they play in a blizzard except that it will be better because basketball is actually fun to watch.

Step 3: 

 ...is probably the most important step of all.  There will only be one little set of bleachers, making a Hawks home game an exclusive venue.

Because if there's one thing people in Atlanta like, it's exclusive venues.  A spot on that little set of bleachers will be the hottest ticket in town.  And if you don't get/can't afford a seat, no problem.  You can just post up on the chain link fence with all the other fans.  That's right, a chain link fence, because the Hawks play ball IN A CAGE!!!

And it'll be called The Bird's Nest (get it?  Because hawks are birds?)!!

The thought of having to come to the ATL to face the mighty Atlanta Hawks in a cage match would strike fear in the heart of every visiting player!

My 3 step plan takes the Hawks, an overlooked mediocrity, and elevates them to the level of hometown heroes.  A team that has struggled to find an identity since the departure of Dominique Wilkins will have not just an identity, but character!

Dream with me, would-be Hawks fans!  Imagine the spectacle!  Our Hawks would crowd surf onto the court before every game!

There'd be a contingent of homeless Hawks fans who'd lead the fans in songs about the greatness of our team!

And, above all, the people of Atlanta would be united as one behind a sports team worthy of our praise and adoration!

...or we could just work on signing Glen Davis.  Either way.

There you have it folks, another episode of "Creeking More in the ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore)"!  Be sure and come back for the next installment, and I honestly don't think badminton in Philips Arena is a bad idea.  I dare you to do a youtube search for "badminton volley" and not be impressed.