8 Questions For Creek

Because all of you have been such loyal Creek fans, I've decided to reward you by dedicating this entire blog post to Your Questions For Creek!  Just text your questions to the toll-free text line (it isn't really toll-free...) and I'll answer the first 8 of them!

Okay, the first question is from Franzwald Attica in Des Moines.  He asks:

1.  i noticd that u do caricatures a lot. iz there iz somebody u tryed to draw & couldnt ?

Yes, Franzwald, as a matter of fact there is somebody...

As everyone knows, Amara Karan (the actress who played Sweet Lime, or Rita, in the movie The Darjeeling Limited) is the most beautiful woman on the planet, and, no matter how hard I try, I cannot capture a likeness of her face.  And I've tried MANY times.

Here's an attempt with pencil:

Here's an attempt with ink:

Here's an attempt with ink and watercolor:

I even tried to draw her into the 100th episode of Creeking More In The ATL (with your host Nate Creekmore), remember..?

All to no avail.  When Moby Dick bit off Captain Ahab's leg, Captain Ahab spent the rest of his life in pursuit of Moby Dick.  In The Darjeeling Limited, there's a scene where Amara Karan sticks her head out of a train window, takes off her glasses, and looks back at the camera.  When I saw that scene, it was as if she'd bitten off my leg.

And I've been pursuing her likeness ever since.  One day, Amara.  One day...

The next text is from Tulga in Ulaanbaatar.  He(?) asks:

2.  what kind of music is best?

Easy.  Anything with an unexpected saxophone solo in it.

And stop hating Kenny G.  None of us can tell the difference between the way he sounds and the way every other saxophone player sounds.  Stop pretending to be jazz aficionados.

The next question is coming from a blocked number:

3.  What is love (love)?

My answer:  Baby, don't hurt me.  Don't hurt me, no more.



Question number four comes to us from Mariska Hargitay in Los Angeles:

4.  i luvd ur collectn of short stories called GreenEyesDarkHairAndSensibleShoes.  do u hav any more short stories?

As a matter of fact I do have another short story.  It's called Diabolical Whispers or The Godless Musings of a Profane Satan.  It's about a young man (a Pelagian Christian) and his reluctant relationship with an enthusiastic Satan.  Here are a few pages:

As he grows up, Satan continues to follow him around:

The opposite of God isn't evil, it's nothing.

It doesn't have a happy ending, but if I ever put together another collection of short stories, I'll make room for this one.  And please ignore the fact that the protagonist somewhat resembles me.  [smiles, reassuringly, at the audience]

The next text is from M Puckett in Memphis (Tennessee or Egypt..?).  It reads:

5.  Where's my money?

Friday.  I'll get the money to you on Friday.  Just stay calm, and don't do anything drastic.


Now, a question from someone named Herbert in Nagoya.

6.  can you draw me for me?

No.  But I can draw me for me.

Thanks Nate!  De nada!

A text from Cheryl in prison reads:

7.  i lik CMATL vol 3 but wher can i find vol 1 and vol 2?

Nowhere.  They both sold out quickly and will never be reprinted again ever.  But I'm glad you like Volume 3.  It's not anywhere near as groundbreaking or life-changing as Volume 1 or 2, but it's still nothing to sneeze at.

And we have time for one final question.  This one is coming all the way from Teotihuaca:

8.  Donde estabas cuando cimente la tierra... cuando cantaban las estrellas del alba y los hijos de Dios se regocijaban?

Sorry, I don't speak Mandarin.

Well, that's all the time we have, folks!  I hope you all found out something new and inspiring about your favorite bloggist.  And for all of you who still have unanswered questions, feel free to email them directly to my spam folder.

Cheers!